Change

There is something I need to get off my chest, and like I said in my first post, I created this blog as a diary and to get things off my chest hoping that someone will listen.

Lately everything is starting to change. My friends, school, the scenery where I live, everything around me is changing, and I´m having a really hard time accepting it. I feel like while everything is changing, I´m staying the same. And I am not saying that this is a bad thing, but I feel like time is moving way to fast, and that I can´t keep up. 

My friends are drinking now, going out, making new friends, going places and I feel like all they care about is boys and booze. Sure there are still times when we are speaking or spending time together that I´m like yes, these are my best friends and I love them to bits, I´ve known most of them since we we´re like four years old. But I feel like we´re growing apart, and we don´t see each other very often anymore. 

When this summer is over, I´m going into my last year of high school/secondary school, and I´m really scared. Scared of exams, scared of prom, scared of not knowing what I want to do when school is over.

My anxiety is really playing up, and I feel like know one really gets it. They´re trying to, but it´s hard and I get that. It´s just that I´m scared of going out, I don´t drink, I find making new friends hard, and going to places I´ve never been before freaks me out. 

I know people say that change is good, and it can be, but it´s also scary. Once you get through it and get used to it will probably be fine, but I feel like I´ll never get used to it. I just hope that in time, everything will be fine. I want to work on it this summer, but getting started is very hard. 

I´m sorry for being a debbie downer, I´ll try to write something more optimistic next time. But as I said before, my life is not as in the Disney movies, or as your usual fairtytale. 

It´s my fairytale, aka my life.

XOXO